I wanna have control...

Right fucked up for the final time. Huge binge. Then purged. I hate this. I hate myself.

I am no longer living, I am in a state of simply existing. My eating disorder has taken over my life, and every day has become a constant struggle. I don't want to live life like this, I want to enjoy every second of life, but this constant battle with myself has taken over. My life is a misery. The only way out of this is to become thin.

New Rules:
1. Only Vegan Food
2. No junk food i.e high in fat/sugar
3. No purging
4. Only eat when hungry
5. Drink water if hungry and wait 30 mins to see if hunger subsides
6. No eating after 7
7. Anything I eat that breaks these rules will go on the banned list, and I won't be allowed them at all.

Banned List.

• Biscuits
• Alpen
• Special K
• Oatcakes
• Marmalade
• Jam
• Cereal Bars

The aim is to only eat when hungry, to try and eat like a normal person, rather than either eating nothing at all or stuffing my face.

I am fed up of every day being a failure. I am starting now, and I will not fail. I will be thin.