New Beginning

Just realised how stupid giving up things for new year and lent really is...If I want to make changes to my life then I should just do it and have the will power to carry them through. I've had a rough month, and I feel like I am just about reaching a lowest ebb. I have no idea how much I weigh, though I feel absolutely massive and pretty fed up. I was a perfect weight in the summer and I have blown it all, but this stops now, I dont want to be massive, I dont want to be average, I want to be thin again, and the only way I am going to do that, is through fucking hard work and dedication, and I am ready to make that commitment. I have 3 weeks til my birthday, so the target will be to be under 8st7, because i have no idea how much I weigh right now, and I am too scared to even check...sick. Im feeling rubbish right now, Im too ashamed to see anyone, even my boyfriend, because I feel too massive, Im sick of shutting people out of my life because of this. Anyway, rant over. Main point is I am making changes to my life and they are starting now.