Damage Done

Possibly just had the worst ever binge of my life, im not even sure why it happened, I think i'm just fed up of being ill, not being able to exercise, and anxious about whether there is anything wrong with me.

Binge Intake: 375g of maple pecan crisp cereal (NOT VEGAN!) pretty much the whole box!
2 bowls of cornflakes, maybe even 3...memory is hazy
4 shredded wheat
a ton of soy milk

Absolutely disgusting. The whole time I continued to eat, I told myself I would not purge, then I felt so gross, I had to, but after attempting to purge I stopped myself. I took a step back and looked at myself. Head over toilet bowl. I felt so ashamed. I don't want this to be my life. I will not let it be my life. Its beginning to happen far too often. I refuse to ever purge again ( i realise i have said this around 5 times in the last month). I will weigh myself tomorrow, so I can learn the damage of the binge, and hopefully that will encourage me not to do it again.

Im sick of failing. February is not off to a good start. So I want to go for the rest of the month with no more binges, anybody with me? I have a week til im going away and I want to be 8st 2. Do-able...I hope today hasn't derailed it too much.

I'm going to start posting my daily intake on here now, hopefully it will encourage me to stay on track with restricting again.

I definitely won't be eating again until at least tomorrow morning.