ABC

I am starting the abc tomorrow, if anyone wants to join me? I will be doing it based on net calories, so if the allowance for the day is 500 and under and I have burnt 200 then I shall up my calories to 700. Only reason I am doing this is I am training for a 10k and I need to make sure I have enough to fuel my runs. Anyway, I have had a horrendous week of binging, and I am truly fed up with myself. I have just over 3 weeks til a 10k run, and I shall embark on the abc until that point. I have never got very far on the abc before,but I am more determined than ever to make it work this time.

127 and the worst day in a long time

End of January, it has not been an awful month, I am back down to pre-Christmas weight, but I am starting to struggle a little bit with eating. On the last day of Jan I binged, it was not even a massive binge, probably just a normal amount of calories, but I had done so well the past few days that I felt like I had to purge. It was the first time I had done it since Nov or early Dec I cant remember, and I feel really let down, and realise why it was that I stopped. Yesterday my throat was in agony, my face was horrendously puffy and I felt ashamed and disgusted with myself, one for losing control and two for giving in and purging.

I am not feeling happy with the way things are going, I know I am losing weight but I just want to be thin again, I know if I keep at it the way it has been going, I will get there, it just won't be instant, and I have to stick with it.

Anyway, just a quick update, I'll post again when I feel less disgusted with myself, and am starting to feel a bit better.

Regression.

Don't know what has happened, first two weeks of Jan were great. Now I have majorly fallen off the wagon, I am so sick of this. Todays disgusting binge:

pear
2 bowls of porridge
3 tbsps peanut butter
2 bowls of cornflakes
7 chocolates
banana and peanut butter soy milk smoothie
falafel and homous salad
more houmous and tofu
about 1/4 jar peanut butter
1 slice of toast with above and jam
2 rice cakes with the above peanut butter
2 more bowls cornflakes
blueberries
4 homemade peanut butter cookies
apple

may have forgotten something else, that is atrocious! All triggered by being alone in the house, why?! This only happens when I am alone in the house and its other peoples food I eat, as I never buy anything unhealthy. I am so sick of this. I am liquid fasting tomorrow and thurs and really kicking up my running from tomorrow.

Scratch that

Not going to be under 126 tomorrow, had a fail of epic proportions today. Even fallen off the vegan wagon for the first time in months, though it has reminded me the reason why I gave up those types of foods, they didn't even taste nice to me today. Anyway calorie count is super high today, not eaten a lot in terms of quantity, just highly calorie dense foods. Back on it tomorrow. I think the not posting until I reach targets was working for me, so I am going to try it again. See you all when I am 122.

And I'm back!

So it did not take too many days of the new year for me to reach my first target and return to all you lovely folks here. This morning weighed at 126 (hooray), lowest I have been since before I went travelling (i.e April last year). New year has started amazingly well, continued being a strict vegan, and for the new year have cut out wheat (not sure for how long, but it is working!) pretty much all junk food (except the odd boiled sweet here and there) and am making sure my calories do not go over 1700 for this month. Today was my metabolism day so I had 1800 all healthy and mostly just grazing little bits throughout the day hopefully rev up the metabolism. This week has been really good:

 Day 1: 1200 cals
2: 1300
3:1600
4: 850
5: 1450
6: 1300

and during that time I have lost somewhere between 5 and 7 pounds (not sure exactly how much due to overeating at xmas!) and am pretty convinced that it is largely down to cutting wheat out of my diet.

I am starting to feel much better in myself and cannot wait to get back down under 9st, hopefully monday :D

How are you guys all doing?